Unchained Melody

The last time i blogged was probably ages ago. A lot has happened since then. To say a few, i lost a close friend. 10th feb 2014.

RIP you. RIP.
 

Hola Back?

Hello fellow bloggers,

Some of you might be thinking that i might have stopped posting/blogging. 'Tis not so. You see, i changed my URL a long time ago because of this ugly typo i made. *shudders*. And since i have been posting, it is annoying not to get any comments on whatever that i post/write about. So, here's a leeeetle request from moi. Imma change my URL to http://cumbersome-me.blogspot.com/ and that way you can unfollow me and then follow me. 

Much Love,

Al 

I Cry

And i cry because it hurts that much.
And i cry because i feel so dead.
And i cry because maybe i'm late to my own funeral.
And i cry because my God wont respond to me.
And i cry because there's no fire in my belly anymore.
And i cry because there is despair, depression and no hope around me.
And i cry. . .

And i cry because there's no love around me
And i cry because no matter what you're never right. Never.
And i cry because i'm a nobody.
And i cry because maybe they were right.
And i cry because the passion's gone.
And i cry because life's too fucking short.
And i cry. . .

There's something.

I don't remember the last time i was soo... lost? Yeap, lost.

I think sometimes the only normal thing that i ever end up doing is going to school. But i have a crazy brain, i need a lot on my plate to keep myself busy. A full load of work, for me to function normally. Most of the times i just want to lie in my bed, and calm down and rest and just not think about shit. But i don't. Probably because i wasn't built this way. Or as Ms Lady GaGa Put it i wasn't "Born This Way.

They tell me you think too much, i probably do. But too much thinking can be hazardous. But ive learnt so many lessons. I have. How do you trust someone all over again? How do you do that? How does one do that?

How does one respond to "How are things with you?" HOW?

That numb feeling is still there. Can't get rid of it. Can't. How does one do that, even? I want to go off in a sleeping mode and when i wake up i just want things to be normal. Please, God? Please? just once.

Lights will guide you home...

I've been wanting to write forever now but i guess i had no 'real' motive to. You know.. that.. kind that emotional kind of motive.. one that suddenly pours your heart and soul of sudden strange feelings and you know that you just need to get those out.

I don't know..i mean one minute i'll feel like a frog and the next i'll be this porcupine with those sharp thingies pointing at you. But i guess that's everyone at my age (just an assumption). My school's starting from the 5th now, and two months ago i clearly remember signing a slip that said "Dear all, yaddi yaddi yada... therefore school will re-open on the 12th of August" I mean i had plans of 'nothing to do' in the now not so blessed future two weeks ahead of me. Sigh, screw you school authorities. I am in no mood to teach or more so deal with the impending drama awaiting my arrival.

Right now, i have a bad case of sniffles and a sore throat... which is good and bad.  Good; because i dont have to bother talking to ppl about irrelevant things and bad because most friends of mine have forgotten what i sound like. :( #TheLife

But over all Summer wasn't so bad, i made a friend recently who literally forced me out of the house everyday..and you know how parents get when things like that happen, "kaun hai? kaisi hai? kya karti hai woh?" I mean dude? Had hoti hai -_- But i guess it's their job or whatever.

It's that time of the summer, when people are leaving. My best of friends did not come this summer, which was slightly heartbreaking; more for them i'm guessing cuz they have their whole families here. In other news my film school might not be continuing, i mean that's a first- at least for me. While life goes on.. i cant help but think about all the money that i put in to it.

Im reading a Danielle Steel novel right now, called "Now and Forever"...it's about a husband and wife who face first world problems and don't know how to deal with it -_- I mean "yawr like kaisay kartay how aap yawr" Still, a good read and obviously better than Twilight!

My sister's getting married in October, same time i'll turn 22. Maynn i don't feel so old :/ (I hope to stop sneezing, seriously). Can't wait for Ramazan to end, it's making me incredibly weak and my fat pay check.

..Colplay's making so much sense right about now.. dayum

Cheers,
more later!

Summer's here?

I think feelings are like your skin, they eventually peel off. Whether its love, hate, anger, disappointment or even happiness. They always peel off and similar to skin, they are replaced by new ones, love is soon replaced by hate or sometimes even nothingness. I feel like i have been lying in this pool of nothingness for the longest time now. It's not the best and its not the worst. It makes you feel.... nothing. Can't complain.

Right now, if i want, i can totally get out if bed, make a list of things to do this summer, work on my short term and long term goals and achieve something. But i am so tired right now. I am. Not exhausted, but im just so sick of being this money minting machine that the entire thing has become redundant, monotonous and boring really. Its almost been a week since i got off work and i spent all that time with ppl who i promised hanging out with. I felt like it was a debt i was paying off. And these are real, actual people that i am talking about, and as i met them i kept on doing that imaginary calculation thing in my head that my mom does when she's buying her groceries. (ohmygod i get it from ma.). So it was pretty much like

1 xwz
2  pqr
3 shkkd
4 mmll and lsks
5 opbnek
6 joxk, ankd, ajkdd's baby

No.5 and No.6 are friends who are leaving soon. So there's another formality there.

Yipee. Here's to Summer 2013!

Cheers

Yes, Man!

This past year was filled with me facing my past ghosts; ones i feared hated me, loathed me or worse had forgotten me. But i put up a strong face and i met them, each one of them. Still, i have not become the person i would want to be. I still get awed by people and their coolness and i end up doing the wrong kind of things. Like that lead actress in good fellas.  I wish i had a friend like me, who'd give me some sane, rational advice. Perhaps a future me? Because honestly on the account of not listening to any gibberish advice from people my age i have completely stopped opening my little big yap of a mouth. Is that bad? Is that normal? Is it ok?

Also, on the occasion of listening to people talking about how i am so judgmental i have decided to conquer those feelings and lay in bed and hangout with not so cool people. And Say Yes!

So here i am, saying yes. Yes to life, to people, to new endeavors, to new sweet memories!

Also it's zoya's birthday on Monday. I wish i could do alot. I really do.

Now Listening to

Moby - Moby - Sailin' On

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